Consideration: Am I mindful of the other person’s needs? Am I mindful of my own needs? How mindful is this person to my needs?
Personal Integrity: To what degree am I able to maintain my integrity when I am relating with and to this individual? To what degree does this person maintain and/or compromise his/her integrity?
Compatibility: What do I have in common with this individual? To what degree do we like and dislike the same things, share the same attitudes, values, and beliefs? How important to me are our similarities and our differences?
Communication: Are we able to talk freely about issues that are important in our relationship? Are we able to understand each others thoughts and feelings? Do es our relationship become stronger as a result of communicating our thoughts and feelings?
Honesty: Is this relationship built on truth or are there games and hidden agendas?
Acceptance: Am I accepted and appreciated for who I am? Do I accept and appreciate the other person for who they are? Are we trying to convince or change each other into someone else?
Trust: How trustworthy is this person? To what degree am I willing to let this person gain access to the private things about me that I don’t want everyone to know?’
Respect: Am I treated as if I have value in this relationship? Do I treat the other person as if they have value?
Empathy: To what degree does this person attempt to understand (not necessarily agree) with what I am feeling? To what degree am I able to understand the feelings of this person?
Understanding: Does this person understand what I mean by what I say and do? How much do I understand the thoughts and behaviors of this person?
Vulnerability: How safe do I feel letting down my barriers with this person? To what degree am I willing to let this person affect my feelings?
Maturity: To what extent does this person recognize his/her non-working patterns of thinking, feeling an behaving? What have they done to identify or change non-working patterns? To what extent does this person hold themselves and others accountable for their choices? How empowered is this person to create their own life?
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