02 Jun 12 at 4 pm
tags: personal  impersonal 


        I had a mental breakdown. I do not remember much of what happened. One minute I am on the laptop and the next minute I am chasing my father out of the front door with a kitchen knife. Then the door locked and I am shut inside with a six inch blade in my hand and suicidal thoughts running through my mind. My mom keeps calling and pleading with me. She does not want me to die. She tells me how much she loves me. Asking me to open the door for her. She comes home from work and had my dad in the car. I put the knife down and went outside to look for my father. She tried stopping me from walking up to his car but it was too late. He was scared. Scared of his own son and I could see the fear in his eyes. I started banging on the car window trying to scare him. He then drove off and called the police. 

      With a single cigarette lit in my right hand I started walking inside and waited, and waited. Waiting until they came to get me. I wanted the officers to kill me. I was ready to die, but I am impatient. I walk outside and start walking up the street when I see them. My parents in the 7-11 parking lot with two police cars around them. I stand still and take a single drag from my Marlboro and wait. They spot me and tell me to stay still. So I drop my cigarette and start laughing maniacally. They pull up beside me and draw their guns before realizing I am unarmed. While patting me down they ask me if I have a knife on me and throw my lighter out. I keep asking if I am being arrested and they would not answer. So I would not talk. The officer then stands me up and cuffs me. They put me in the back of the car and take me to where my parents are. My mother tells them to take me to the hospital. My father tells them to take me to jail. They decide to take me to Kaiser for a psych evaluation and label me suicidal. 

      At the hospital they have me strip down and put on a gown. It is so late at night that I am in the crowded emergency room. I am then placed on a seventy-two hour mandatory psych hold. Since the hospital does not have a psych facility on the lot I am going to a place called Canyon Ridge in Chino, CA. Until the EMT comes to take me I wait in an emergency room bed.

  1. acerozay reblogged this from thematicphilosophy
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  3. daniiiiix3 said: stay strong <3